Recommendation: Consider couples therapy.
Your responses indicate that you and your partner still love each other and want to make things work, but you're stuck in unhelpful patterns and may benefit from professional assistance moving forward together.*
Couples therapy can provide a safe, supportive setting for important conversations, identify the root causes of problematic patterns and behaviors so you can finally tackle them head-on, and help you build the skills to create a whole new marriage, together.
Couples therapists can have a variety of different educational backgrounds & training:
- Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSWs) - like me!
- Licensed Marriage & Family Therapists (LMFTs)
- Psychiatric APRNs
- Licensed Professional Counselors (LPCs)
- Licensed Mental Health Counselors (LMHCs)
- Pastoral Counselors
Therapists generally have either master's level or doctoral level education and several years of supervised training before they can practice independently. Learn more about the different kinds of mental health providers here.
Find the Right Couples Therapist for You
- Check out my Couples Therapy services page and see if you think I'd be a good fit for to help with your relationship. If so, reach out! I offer free 15-minute consultations (with each spouse, if desired!) to help us decide if we're a good match.
- Word of mouth— We often confide about our relationship struggles to friends or family. Perhaps you know someone who's had success with a particular therapist for their own relationship - you may not even realize it! If so, maybe they can help you, too. Don't be afraid to ask around - there is no shame in trying to make your relationship stronger.
- Psychology Today - This online directory can help you find other therapists in your area who specialize in couples therapy. Often, you can also search by insurance carrier to find someone in your network (be sure to verify coverage and in-network status with your own insurance provider and when you first speak to the potential therapist).
*Note: Couples therapy is typically NOT recommended for couples in abusive relationships (physical or emotional). It can actually be harmful or even dangerous to participate in couples therapy with an abuser.
DIY Relationship Resources
Short on time, money or energy these days? For those of you who can’t get to a professional right now, there is still hope. Here are a few resources you may want to explore on your own or with your partner.
Psychologytoday.com Relationship Resources & Articles
Gottman Institute's Couples Resources
Esther Perel - This internationally-renowned relationship expert's website has dozens of helpful resources for couples, along with a link to a her podcast on relationships.
Positive Psychology's Couples Therapy Worksheets & Activities
4 Self-Help Resources for Couples Who Can't Afford Therapy (Bustle)
Disclaimer: I do not manage or endorse the above websites or their content. These are offered for informational purposes only.