According to your quiz responses, litigation may be the best choice for you. An amicable process and outcome isn't in the cards if your spouse truly can't be trusted. You'll need attorneys and experts advocating for your rights and interests-and those of your children-to defend yourself from his/her attacks; if your spouse is as narcissistic or twisted as you think, s/he will fight just as hard-or harder-to win and hurt you.
If your situation is truly best served through litigation, you'll need to choose your attorney wisely, one that can skillfully navigate the judicial process and players on issues of finances, property and what is best for your children to have a positive, safe outcome for your and your children's futures.
Resources for you:
CT Council for Non-Adversarial Divorce - Information about Divorce Options and links to professional mediators, collaborative divorce coaches, and other professionals who help guide couples through the divorce process.
Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence - CT Safe Connect - This free, 24/7, confidential hotline/email/chat service can provide immediate assistance if you are in an unsafe situation at home. Visit the site at ctsafeconnect.com to learn more or chat via the web, or call (888) 774-2900.
Context is everything.
Is it at all possible—even just 1% possible—that your interpretation of your spouse’s motives is wrong? That your painful experience of your marriage is very real, but your view that your spouse is weak or bad is not entirely true?
After all, you were 100% sure at the start of your relationship that s/he was wonderful…so which is the true narrative? How can you be sure? What if you could “end” your marriage as it is but can create a new one, with each other?
If you still think it is possible that there are other explanations for your spouse’s “bad” behavior, there may be a better path for you than divorce. Let’s talk about my Marriage ER process, also known as Discernment Counseling.